Steps

Where all your dreams are made reality. This is what brought me here. A promise plastered on the side of a bus. I’m not a sucker for false advertisements but as I passed the building swarmed with people, how could I not?

If it weren’t for the hundreds of promotions stuck to benches, billboards, and trees, I would’ve thought it was like another building in the city. It must’ve been the tallest building here because I couldn’t see the top, no matter how far I bent my neck. The line emptied quickly, so no one was losing their minds trying to squint through the mirrored glass into the building filled with their dreams. As I reached the front of the line, nobody was there to shuffle people in or tell them to wait their turn.

A man behind me shouted. He pushed me into the building, and I stumbled forward. A greedy desperate person ready to believe anything that benefited them.

The room smelled of unripe bananas and blueberries. Everyone was in their bubble, unaware of the people around them. It was like unwrapping socks on your birthday when you wanted a new bike. Their eyes were full of awe yet so blank. I scrunched my nose at the unappetizing shade of orange painted on the walls. Drawing my eyebrow together, I studied the giggling clown jumping up and down above the crowd. I shuttered and turned my attention to what was above him. Scattered on the ceiling were glow-in-the-dark stars that glimmered in the day. Though the room was so bright, there didn’t seem to be any ceiling lights or sun seeping through the windows. I couldn’t wrap my head around how the room was illuminating.

I sat in one of the mint green lounge chairs in the corner of the room. There was nowhere else I could go since there didn’t seem to be any elevators or stairs. I yawned and looked up at the clown. He was still jumping and smiling, spinning mid-air. It was as if he was surveying everyone. Some kind of worker in disguise. And not a very good one.

My eyes trailed behind the clown where there was a black title in the sea of white and stars. No, it was a hole. I got up from my chair and rubbed my eyes. Yup, it was real. The people in the room began to blend. Their identical expressions and movements made them feel like drones. A few began to disappear or leave. I smiled. They hadn’t seen what I did and it was mine.

I walked up to the clown, who was still floating and making snow angels in the air. I expected some kind of trampoline for him to land on, but his feet were hitting solid ground. I stomped the floor and jumped where the clown was, but it didn’t bounce. When he dropped down again, honking his toy car, I pulled his red wing and pointed my finger up. He squeezed my shoulders, jumped up, and threw me. I slid myself through the hole and let my feet dangle, like dipping feet into plunging cold water. As the clown dived back into the array of mindless people, the clown smiled and wiggled my keychain in his hand.

This next room–which was empty– had walls a dull green. I stared at the ceiling painted like the sky for another opening. Clouds swirled and created shapes on the vast blue canvas.

Each room had a new way up whether it was scurrying up the neck of a giraffe statue or just climbing a ladder. The walls were coated in different colors in no specific order. I don’t know how many floors I’d ascended before I realized they were shrinking. On every floor, there was a little less space and a little more hesitation.

I told myself, just a little more while everything in my body was imploring me no. I climbed and climbed because–what else could I do? I only registered the extent of my mistake as I squeezed my way into the next room. This room, this floor, was as big as the hole I’d used to climb up. I craned my neck to see the next. One last time. It had to be. My arm was barely out of reach so I used what little of the floor I had to push myself up. I reached for the next hole. A lining that I could grip on. I flinched at the impact. The hole was merely a single black tile. I was stuck. I looked down to retrace my climb but met another black tile. Although I was surrounded by windows, nobody would be able to see or hear my fruitless cries for help. I was too far up. I propped my head against the wall, my knees inches from my chest. It wasn’t worth it to cry. To waste my energy and air on an activity that would do no good.

I don’t know how long I sat there. My eyes closed, legs shaking. I reached up to the ceiling and pushed with all I could. I strained, it couldn’t end like this. Soon, the force let out and I could finally extend my arms straight. I pulled them down and looked at my blistered hands, laughing. I desperately reached for the top again and scrambled through. I took a deep breath in. I could finally breathe. Feel real sun on my sweaty, pale skin. It was a roof deck. I’d reached the end. The ground was grass and the sky was still the same. I walked towards the edge of the concrete railing and propped my elbows up. I looked over the city, the bustling streets full of frantic pedestrians and the cars too impatient to wait in line. My eyes trailed towards one of the billboards with a familiar phrase. It wasn’t lying. My dreams were made reality.